There are certain things that Jay and I will admit to in planning our wedding:

1) We are lucky and yes, privileged. We are aware that the cost of our flowers alone costs three times as much as our co-worker’s entire bill for his wedding. When our Catholic Guilt gets the best of us we heave and sob and stay up at night telling ourselves that we are going to burn in hell. But then my mom is always the first one to bring me back from inferno, telling me that she will kick my a$$ if we don’t get quality flowers, or centerpieces, that people can take home and admire.

2) There are some so-called wedding traditions (if you do research, you’ll soon find out that the seemingly historically rooted accoutrement were created by the very people who profit from the wedding industry and who happily take money from wide-eyed brides and nervous grooms who want to make sure that they have a diamond ring that isn’t too big, but isn’t too small, either) that we will forego.

Like fireworks. As I type, I hear fireworks in the background… omg!!! Providential.

And the parlor games at the reception, the throwing of this or that (because you know if you’re throwing something, you’re going to have it buy it first). Of course I’ll throw (or perhaps just hand?) my bouquet to… someone… 🙂 But we’ll really do away or borrow the little things, like the arrhae (huh?) and the ring pillows (we’ll have them in a velvet pouch that I already have and my friend, Charley, will be our ring bearer so she’ll keep it in her purse), by taking from what we already have or from Jay’s brother, who got married last year. But for sure, we’re buying the important stuff for the church ceremony, like our family bible.

3) We want to look fly. So we’re spending on designers.

4) We want to be immortalized looking fly. So we’re having two photographers (Terry Uy and Jill Lejano) and a videographer (Threelogy). As some of you know, Jay is a kick-ass photog, and I’m starting-out myself, so images, both still and moving, are a priority. Since Jay and I want to look through every second of the wedding video footage, unedited, he and I will edit it ourselves (well, Jay will edit it for the most part, I’ll point and make comments :)).

5) We want to make sure that the exchange of our vows is special, so we want a top-notch choir to serenade us through the ceremony. My dad wants MADZ. But when I do the math, I really can’t justify dropping P50,000 for an hour. Even if it’s for MADZ (sorry! more power!). My dad is insisting. I’m resisting. We’re thinking a younger choir may fit more with our theme anyway.

Any suggestions? Has anyone heard Ateneo Glee Club? UP Singing Ambassadors? UA&P Chorale? Or a boy’s choir?

6) We want mad tunes at the reception, and after an hour of eating, speeches, that kind of thing – we want to open up the dance floor so people can D-A-N-C-E! YEAAAAAA!!! So yes, we want a quality dj.

But you know… I’ve really calmed down a lot in the planning. Now we just have to go on taste tests, that kind of thing, but I really don’t want to get sucked into more and more costs because… we have the rest of our lives, for pete’s sake. I also just read this article on and the last thing I want is to be a sucker… or is it to be a level 10 sucker as opposed to just a… let’s say a 6 or 7? That’s where we’re (mostly me, coughcough) at now and would like to stay there.


We’d like to reiterate that we are not here to judge anyone for the choices that they are making with regards to their wedding. It’s your day. Spend your bucks, time, energy, love, patience, patience, patience, however you want to spend it! As long as you are growing closer as partners, you’re happy, and you can afford it, tickle yourselves pink with the planning and execution, by all means!

Oh, we forgot one more thing. We want bubbles throughout the day and lots of it.



Filed under wedding

3 responses to “Admissions

  1. ronibats

    Cathy (and Jay),

    If if it would make the two of you happy (ecstatic, perhaps?) on your wedding day, why bother about Catholic guilt? After all, you get to marry each other only once 🙂


  2. hi ronnie!

    if you knew how much each accoutrement cost, you would be guilt-trodden, too 🙂 seriously, it’s ridiculous, ronibats.

    i know, it’s supposed to be our fete, so go all out, right? but sometimes we wonder, do WE really want this, or have we been told by the planner/media that we do, so the impulse seems natural but it’s really not. here’s an example – a light and sound technician. do we need that? i mean, it’s not a PETA production, you know? it’s a wedding! but then i’m like, oh no, what if we walk in and it’s dark?!? or what if they play ‘my humps’ when they’re supposed to be playing ‘endless love’?!? all because we didn’t hire a light and sounds expert.. aaaaaaa!
    anyways, what petty nonsense.

    we’re getting married!!! yahooo!!! you’re invited, btw. 🙂 it’s far yet but mark your calendar (nov. 24, 2007).
    hope to see you at one of the saturday coffee sessions, doc! i have yet to attend, argh.


  3. Hey Cathy:) Neva here. Im thinking of hiring Hangad ( for our choir. They’re a group of young professionals and they’re handled by the Jesuit Music Ministry. The main reason why I want them is because of their song Pananatili which is based on the Song of Ruth. Just shoot me an e-mail if you want a copy of the song, the rates and their contact details. I think they’d be staging free concerts too this June so you and Jay can check them out.

    By the way, I say amen to all your wedding-related posts 😉

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